I attended a workshop this past weekend, and part of our informal discussion was about how today’s world has cheapened friendship…how “friends” on social media sites can be mistaken for true friends, and how a search for genuine friends can make us vulnerable to exploitation. We know that sometimes friendship brings us hurt and pain, especially when we innocently trust people who shouldn’t be trusted. Ask any youth or adult who has been harassed or bullied on-line, or in real time. On the positive side, sometimes we have been blessed with life-long friends, and if we’re truly fortunate, we might even find new friends who genuinely care about us. Most of us who have reached “a certain age” have done both.

It seemed to be like this with Jesus, as well. He had both old and new friends: faithful friends, mostly faithful friends – but he also trusted a companion who ultimately betrayed him. According to today’s Gospel, he even waited quite a while before he called the apostles his friends, and then he felt that he needed to command them to love each other. Certainly, Jesus used good judgment, all things considered. He understood human failings, and discernment was important if his mission were to continue.

I’ve often thought about my friendships – how much I can realistically give, what I hope to gain – and how much I will freely sacrifice for my friends. I’ve had to decide whether to continue in friendships when the overall relationship has ended. Could – or would – I help friends who had been cruel to me? Would I welcome them to a meal for the sake of others who will be present and need to see them? If I’m to love as I am committed to love – to love God and my neighbors with a profound and unqualified love, I know the choices I must make.

Sincerely loving each other is a real challenge for us all, but we also have the promise of God’s grace to help us…

Dorothy A. Hathway, CSJA